You have all the time in the world. And, if you are ready to move in together, we encourage you to keep reading. Because in the rest of this post we will be sharing with you insight on how to make this moving in together process much more comfortable. To make moving in together comfortable, you have to be willing to have uncomfortable conversations.
Many couples are so excited about moving in together, that they never sit down and talk about some very big and important questions. Below, you will find 6 things to discuss before moving in together. Money is a serious subject and one you should always discuss before moving in together. Before signing an apartment lease, you and your partner should know who will be paying for what and how all you will divvy up expenses.
While these may seem minor, they can have a tremendous impact on the course of a relationship post move. Couples go their separate ways all the time. If the two of your discover that moving in together was a bad decision, what is Plan B?
Somebody has to move out and somebody gets to keep the dog or cat or hamster or fish. When relationships are new and exciting, there is no need to maintain the spark… the spark is already there… hotter than a firecracker on the 4th of July. After moving in together, the spark can start burning low, which is natural but does mean the two of you need to make more of an effort to keep things exciting. Choose certain nights to be date nights. Plan fun day trips.
Or sign up for a mean subscription so you can make dinner together a couple nights a week. One of the most difficult aspects of moving in together with your partner is going from tons of privacy to next-to-no privacy at all.
This is why it is so important for you two to set boundaries with one another. These boundaries will vary depending on the relationship, but regardless, it should be a point of discussion. Make sure that you have a plan in place about taking care of any pets.
This is also important to discuss if think you might want to get a pet in the future. Between the two of you, you may both have a fair amount of furniture, kitchenware, and just stuff. When you find yourself in this situation, evaluate what is going to go with you both to your home and what items you will donate, throw away, or put in storage. If you both have a lot of stuff you want to keep, consider getting a storage unit. As we mentioned earlier, talking about money is a big deal, When it comes to the utilities and rent, most couples split these areas equally but that might not be your situation.
For example, if you do all the cooking, it might make sense that your partner pays more of the grocery bill. However, make sure that you both have a plan of how the finances are going to be run in practical terms. For younger couples, this often means choosing a rental property.
Even if you can afford a larger place, make sure that you can both pay your share of the rent comfortably for the best results. If your partner or you own a space, it may make sense to move into the owned home but not always. Still want to take the leap? If you have questions about moving or storage, chat with us online! Good luck, lovebirds! But when it comes time to find new digs—especially with your partner—you have to burst the fantasy bubble.
Are you spending four or five nights a week together hopefully without too much midweek back-and-forth, to stay pandemic safe? Playing loud music late at night when your romantic roommate needs to be up early in the morning is a relationship killer.
And now that many people are working from home, there are so many more aspects of scheduling to think about. If you are your partner have wildly divergent schedules, or lifestyles, try making a shared calendar. Money is one of the last great taboos. Try casually working it into your dinner table conversation, or folding the money talk into your regular weightier discussions.
Maybe your partner takes much longer showers, or sleeps with the television on—racking up large water and electric bills. When you first move in, you might agree to a split with plans to check in in three months or to split things proportionally to your income.
Laurent says the intensive time of taking a vacation as a couple is like a mini living-together opportunity. Couples should move in together when they feel that this step is symbolic of becoming more committed to each other, while also holding the understanding that you are each two separate beings who can maintain a level of independence from each other. You are not ready to move in if you are primarily motivated by factors that seem like solutions to problems.
Examples include: wanting more time together, moving in for financial reasons, or trying to resolve trust issues by physically keeping track of your partner.
For instance, folks who move in together to solve trust issues in the relationship tend to be naive to the fact that those conflicts will remain and morph into more sophisticated methods to carry out the problem. Partners will become more secretive or deceptive, despite spending more time together. You cannot solve problems through indirect or external circumstances; they must be managed head on. Moving in at this stage is not the answer. If each partner does not make efforts to do this, they can easily become co-dependent and resentful of each other," according to Romanoff.
This can take a toll on your mental health and your relationship. Romanoff shares some tips that can help you adapt to living with your partner. They are listed below. The early stages of moving in are important because you are both learning about each other and navigating this new experience together.
Be sure to check-in with each other on a regular basis to explicitly state what is working well and what could be improved. This fosters a sense of consideration and acknowledgment of the things you appreciate about each other and what could be done to improve the relationship.
Overcommunicate about everything. Communicating your needs and priorities upfront will save you a great deal of time and stress down the line, before problematic behaviors become entrenched patterns.
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